Okay, so you won’t be sitting quite as isolated as Bernie Sanders when you come to my socially distanced shows at Brad Garrett’s Comedy Club this week. But rest assured that capacity has been reduced to give you enough space that you can feel safe.
They’re taking safety pretty seriously at the MGM Grand for these shows. Before performing, I have to take a COVID-19 test and produce a negative result. Which, if you were one of my high school teachers, you know this is something which I am more than capable of achieving.
In between shows, they do a complete deep cleaning. So even if the person who sat in your chair before you looks like they lick escalator handrails, they firehose that place down like it was Rambo in the jailhouse in First Blood.
Also, they are not allowing me to do meet-and-greets after the show, so you don’t have to worry about not making eye contact out of fear that I will try to sell you merchandise. You can simply saunter out the door after the show and look everybody in the eyes. I guess, until you come across the “Kick Me In The Balls for $20” guy.
As an aside, I don’t trust the “Kick Me In The Balls for $20” guy. You never get to see if he has balls in the first place. Show me the balls, I give you a kick. It’s like the beginning of Raiders Of The Lost Ark with the idol and whip negotiations. Damn. That’s the second old movie reference in this post. Can you tell what I’ve been doing this whole pandemic lockdown?
Anyway, come to the shows:
Thursday, February 4, at 8pm.
Friday, February 5, at 7pm and 10pm.
Saturday, February 6, at 7pm and 10pm.
Sunday, February 7, at 8pm.
Get your tickets BY CLICKING THIS LINK.
See you in Vegas!