Height Privilege

Height Privilege post image

We’ve heard quite a bit about “white privilege” recently, so allow me to shed some light on a similar set of unearned sociopolitical advantages: height privilege. Taller people, I’m pointing (upwards) at you.

It’s the kind of privilege that tall people enjoy when they don’t have to care where they sit in a movie theatre.

It’s the kind of privilege that tall people enjoy when they lean their elbows on your shoulder.

It’s the kind of privilege that tall guys enjoy when they don’t have to work on their personality because girls are taught to fall for someone tall, dark and handsome. (I’m 0-for-3 there, so right away you know I’m more charming than an Indian guy hypnotizing a cobra.)

The latest evidence of height privilege comes from Bill Saporito, who is an assistant managing editor at Time Magazine. But that isn’t the only thing he manages. Saporito manages to be a huge, entitled Ass Man (abbreviation for assistant managing editor) in his opinion column today regarding a recent in-flight argument over airplane seats.

In this incident on United Airlines, a woman threw water in the face of the man seated behind her when he refused to let her seat recline. The man (who was already seated in a row providing extra leg room) had installed devices on her seat back which prevented it from moving. This is against United’s rules and the man would not comply with a flight attendant’s request to remove the gadgets.

"At large"... I get it! Just more height privilege going on.

“At large”… I get it! Just more height privilege going on.

The 6′ 2″ height-privileged hypocrite Saporito says that those looking for comfort (by impinging on his own comfort) should purchase a business class ticket and leave his poor, violated knees alone. Saporito sides with the rule-breaking sociopath behind the woman and publicly threatens on the Internet that anyone who dare “intrude his space” will be met by physical assaults from Saporito himself.

What a delightful man. Saporito probably repeatedly “accidentally” screams in the ears of crying babies in airplanes. Just to show those under-tall subhumans who’s boss. I’m fairly sure he also walks extra slow ahead of injured soldiers upon disembarking just so he can tell them, “This is for getting on the plane before me. If I’m not going to be where I want quickly, you’re not.”

Just as airlines make overweight people buy the adjacent seat if they cannot fit in a single seat, height-privileged thugs such as Saporito should be made to buy the seat in front of them. That way, nobody annoys him by reclining their seats as they are allowed to, and he doesn’t have to be a tantrum-throwing jerk. You’d think that Bill Saporito, the Ass Man who (according to his bio) directs Time magazine’s coverage of business, would know that he can vote with his dollars and either fly an airline with bigger seats, fly in business class or hitch a ride on a porcupine with all the other pricks. Or suck it up, Marfan.

Long story short (TL;DR): You know it’s hard out here for a shrimp.

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  • Ken August 28, 2014, 9:59 am

    Finally! Sense!