F$&king Monkeys

F$&king Monkeys post image

Just back from a boisterously wonderful two-week run at the Crackhouse Comedy Club in Kuala Lumpur Malaysia! Often times when I’m in that country, it is only for a few days. As a result, my sightseeing is severely hampered. But this time, my extended stay afforded me the chance to see some things I had never gotten around to previously.

I had always wanted to visit the Hindu temple at Batu Caves. In my home state of Hawaii, the slang for crystal methamphetamine is “batu.” This is not why I wanted to visit. (And certainly NOT why I went to visit the village of Mahu in Myanmar.)

On a previous trip to Malaysia, [click to continue…]

Jersey? Sure!

Jersey? Sure! post image

When you think of Atlantic City, you probably picture me naked on a couch with a luxurious fur stole draped over my dangly bits. And if you didn’t before, I’m sorry but you will now.

You should know that a fur stole on your dangly bits feels quite amazing. I’m surprised bareback chinchilla riding is not a more popular event at nudist colonies.

You should also probably know [click to continue…]

New Words For 2015

New Words For 2015 post image

The Oxford English Dictionary (fondly referred to as OED by itself, clearly trying to get some kind of rap street-cred going) has just added a bunch of new words to its pages. In doing so, it has given legitimacy to otherwise nonsensical words such as whiteywood, havey-cavey and largity.

We should be conversing in Orwellian Newspeak in no time.

So I took it upon myself to come up with some additions to the lexicon of humanity which we will, in all unfortunate likelihood, be using next year. These are THE NEW WORDS FOR 2015. [click to continue…]

Back to Malayngapore! Or Singalaysia? post image

I love Singapore and Malaysia. Where else would I get the chance to perform in the government’s former parliament chambers or be the centerfold in FHM Magazine?

So it is with great joy that I am headed back to perform in both of those countries. If you’ve never been to either country, now is the perfect opportunity to head over there and catch my shows. Be forewarned, [click to continue…]