Hardcore ‘Pore

August 22, 2013 — Leave a comment

(While I’m off in Australia, please enjoy this entry from a column I wrote for the now-defunct Comic Bible magazine. Rest in peace, Comic Bible.)

Everything is a circle. The Malaysian rains feed the Singapore River, which wends toward the sea. Evaporation brings the moisture skyward and the circle continues. My Singapore comedy journey follows a similar path.

Before I performed in Singapore, the only thing I knew about it was that an American teenager was caught vandalizing cars and subsequently punished by having his butt whipped with a bamboo cane until he bled. That, and also chewing gum was illegal.

It surprised me, then, when I was offered the opportunity to do comedy there in 2004. After all, what sort of crowds could I expect to encounter in a country where laws were enacted to make children bleed and deprive them of the joys of bubble gum? As it turns out, Continue Reading…

All this talk about Jay-Z being a member of the Illuminati is just uninformed conjecture. Let me tell you about rap’s real Illuminati ambassadors. How can I explain it? I’ll take it frame by frame it.

Just a Pyramid? Or The Mysterious Illuminati Headquarters in Space?

Just a Pyramid? Or The Mysterious Illuminati Headquarters in Space? Hmmm?

Let’s start with the back of the dollar bill. It is a one dollar denomination, so we see a large O. A floating eye sits within a pyramid which itself floats above another pyramid. Two pyramids, each word starting with the letter P. What do we have? OPP. And just who do we know that is down with OPP? That’s right. Naughty By Nature. Or should I say, “Illuminati By Nature”!

The truth is always half-hidden right before our eyes to fool us into thinking that we didn’t know that we already knew but were afraid to know. Or something like that.

Need proof? Let’s look into the song, OPP. Continue Reading…

The Road Not Taken

August 2, 2013 — Leave a comment

Neither they lions nor the human are fully grown.

(This entry is from a column I wrote for the now-defunct Comic Bible magazine. Rest in peace, Comic Bible.)

When your favorite comedian is not at your local club, they are “on the road.” They are in the next town over trading laughs for cash. Then, like the faith healer at a traveling revival show, they pull up stakes and head down the interstate to repeat the process. This is, of course, if the comedian has enough smarts to route their shows and coordinate their schedule so their travels make sense both geographically and financially.

I am not such a comedian. Hello, I am Paul Ogata, professional idiot.

In a stunning example of my epic logistics fail, I once scheduled a Continue Reading…

Ogata at LA Comedy Club, Las Vegas, September 2013

The first rule of Fight Club is that you don’t talk about Fight Club. But the first rule of Comedy Club might very well be that you always talk about Comedy Club. So here it is. I’ve just finished a great week in Las Vegas at the newly relocated Big Al’s Comedy Club and this means it is time to tell you when you can catch me next in the Entertainment Capital of the World.

Catch me at Bally’s LA Comedy Club, September 10-15. Shows are at 9:30 PM nightly (except Thursday when the show is at 7:30 PM). There’s even an all-you-can-drink package available, if you’re the type who can drink all they can. Boom.

Actually, Comedy Club is a lot like Fight Club. There are eight rules in Comedy Club, just like in Fight Club: Continue Reading…