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America, Meet Ebola

October 1, 2014 — Leave a comment
Dustin Hoffman stopped Motaba. Can he do the same for Ebola? Not if he can't recognize a fake phone number when he sees it.

Dustin Hoffman stopped Motaba. Can he do the same for Ebola? Not if he can’t recognize a fake phone number when he sees it.

Who’s in charge of Ebola in Africa, anyway? My dad? His medical advice was always, “Rub some dirt on it and walk it off.” That’s bad advice for when an 8-year-old impales himself in the foot with a sharpened pencil, and I’m pretty sure it’s still bad advice for what’s going on in Africa. Or what’s going on in America now, I guess.

Finally (in your best Dwayne Johnson voice) Ebola has come to the United States. Dallas, to be specific. All because some guy went to visit his sick family in Liberia. To all my family: I love you dearly. But if there’s a deadly outbreak of a hemorrhagic fever that liquifies you from the inside, you can rest assured that I will still visit you, but I will do it via Skype. Or maybe Reddit, because that’s where things go viral.

For crying out loud, people, DON’T Continue Reading…

Ultra Manic

September 28, 2014 — Leave a comment

Paul Ogata: UltraManic, Asia Tour 2014

History lesson: if you liked Pacific Rim and its kaiju monsters, you would have loved the old tokusatsu TV shows. The original Godzilla films begat these awesome/silly Japanese superhero TV series, which then begat the Idris Elba blockbuster of 2013. But what are now $150 million budgets of computer generated imagery started as just a bunch of guys in rubber costumes (zippers plainly visible) knocking over miniature toy buildings.

The progenitor of these TV shows was Ultraman. In fact, some of the monsters Ultraman battled Continue Reading…

The Racist Qantas Flight Attendant

Allow me to tell you about the racist Qantas Airways flight I just took.

Fifteen hours is a long time to be wedged into the iron maiden known as a modern airplane economy-class seat. That’s how long it takes to fly from Los Angeles to Australia, where I’m doing shows this month. It feels even longer when for thirteen of those hours you have to stifle the urge to pull a racist flight attendant (pictured above) into the galley and “enlighten” him.

And now, the tale of the Q Qlux Qlan: Continue Reading…

Height Privilege

August 26, 2014 — 1 Comment


We’ve heard quite a bit about “white privilege” recently, so allow me to shed some light on a similar set of unearned sociopolitical advantages: height privilege. Taller people, I’m pointing (upwards) at you.

It’s the kind of privilege that tall people enjoy when Continue Reading…