Dear Floyd Mayweather Jr.,

When you said that Manny Pacquiao should, “make some sushi rolls and cook some rice,” I chalked it up to promotional taunting, even though you continue to duck him. Hey, if it adds heat to the fire surrounding your perpetually distant fight with the guy, I can’t blame you. Perhaps you were some kind of genius manipulator of the media, I supposed.

However, your comments regarding the New York Knicks’ starting point guard, Jeremy Lin, have shown me that you are, in fact, a garden-variety racist.

Jeremy Lin’s story is

Just the other day, I mentioned how Whitney Houston’s rendition of the Star Spangled Banner was among the most American things I could think of. It is still the gold standard, as far as live performances of our national anthem go. And today, the internet is afire with chatter about Whitney’s death in a Hollywood hotel. Rest in peace, Whitney.

Immediately, everyone’s social media timelines filled with farewell wishes, fond remembrances and bad jokes. It all made me realize we are in social media overload.

Posting pictures to Pinterest or Yelping a review has become

“Paul Ogata CAN!” Is that a political bumper sticker or some kind of motivational slogan? Nope. It’s the promotional poster for upcoming international comedians at Parker’s Comedy & Jive in South Africa. Except they mistakenly list me as a Canadian (CAN) instead of American (USA). And if you know me, you know the problems I have with Canada. Hit up 6:45 in this video:

Yesterday, I told you about the Egyptian comedian who faces 3 months in jail for a movie he did. Today, we spiraled deeper into comedy hell as the legendary Billy Connolly got heckled off stage twice in one week. It’s bad enough when hardline theocratic foreign regimes clamp down on comedy, but when customers start interfering with shows they paid large amounts of money to see, it is truly a sign of how bad things have become.

Maybe it’s just that people don’t know how to act at a comedy show. It seems simple enough: sit, laugh, leave. But since we live in an era where people can’t go anywhere without hand-holding and explicit instructions, I’ve created