Manifest Density

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Feeling uncertain about where the world is headed these days? You don’t need to be Zoltar The Fortune Teller to know. The answers have already been laid before us. You just have to know where to look.

The Bible has a verse (Ecclesiastes 1:9) that says, “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.” 

Take, for example, the Donald Trump presidency. Simply peruse the annals of history to see what’s ahead.

First of all, have you seen his official portrait, in which he is actually scowling? This breaks from modern Presidential protocol (and friendly human practice) of smiling in the picture. You have to go pretty far back to find another President who refused to smile. At the very least, they had a pensive or even stoic countenance.

The least smiley POTUS of the 20th century was Warren Harding, who served from 1921 until his death in 1923. Before winning the election, he had been considered a joke candidate with no serious chance of winning. Sound familiar? These days, Harding is regarded as one of the worst, if not the worst, presidents ever. Foreshadowing?

But you have to go much further back to find another scowler. I give you President William McKinley (R).

Look at that. Trump is Making America Grimace Again™.

At McKinley’s inauguration address, he said, “We must avoid the temptation of territorial aggression.” Shortly thereafter, in a very Trumpesque reversal, he went to war with Spain to liberate Cuba and take control of the Philippines and Guam. Just for good measure, McKinley also annexed the illegally obtained territory of Hawaii.

In McKinley’s own words, “It is manifest destiny.”

So when Donald Trump tells you he wants to make America great again, listen closely. Because what has been will be again.

And if you look at all the signs you can see where this is headed. Two words: The Wall.

There are nearly 2,000 miles of border between the United States and Mexico. Some parts are fenced, most are not. If we plan to build a wall over the entire border the costs will run about $38 billion. That’s a lot of money, and Trump says he is going to make Mexico pay for it.

“Okay, have it your way,” is what Trump will say. Then he will kickstart what I like to call Manifest Density.

Now it’s time to play a few rounds of DID YOU KNOW?

Did you know that Mexico was once the world’s sixth-largest oil producer (3.7 million barrels a day)? They have recently throttled it down, doing 2.193 million barrels daily, placing at #12. Which means they’ve got a LOT of oil they’re sitting on.

Did you know that Mexico also has the fourth most productive hydroelectric plant in the world, the Manuel Moreno Torres Dam?

Did you know that Mexico has the world’s third largest solar potential?

Did you know that Afghanistan is sitting on $1 trillion of minerals?

So I guess you can see what’s about to happen.

After the liberation of Mexico, our new Southern border with Guatemala and Belize will only require 696 miles of The Wall, vastly reducing its cost and proving Vicente Fox and his potty mouth so wrong.

But what’s Manifest Density without onward slogging to a clear goalpost?

Let’s just all agree that the new $13+ billion Wall is still a little too expensive for our tastes. Shall we play a little more DID YOU KNOW?

Did you know Guatemala produces 14,000 barrels of oil per day?

Did you know Belize does 1,800 barrels?

Did you know 16% of all exports from Belize are bananas?

Did you know Guatemala is the world’s largest supplier of cardamom? And based on the all the chai tea lattes I see people ordering, I’m sure Starbucks would be a major player in the inevitable overthrow of the Guatemalan government.

Voila: Smaller Wall!

But screw it, this is Manifest Density. You know is we annex all the way to Panana, we can retake the canal (Which We Built MAGA!!!!) and then the border with Colombia is only 140 miles. This would make the wall the cheapest at roughly $2.3 billion.

The banana-cardamom racket is going pay for that by itself.

Just know that while all this Manifest Density is going on, Canada will be hard at work building a wall of their own.

You need pictures, don’t you?

Getting back to the Ecclesiastes verse: after McKinley was elected to his second term, he undertook a six-week victory tour of the nation. (Sweet Jebus, it’s like Trump is Groundhog Day.) And so, at the end of his victory lap, in front a huge crowd – the biggest crowd, nobody got bigger crowds than McKinley did, nobody – he was felled by an assassin’s bullets.

Trump’s end will instead be of his own doing, what with details of his Russian collaboration coming to light.

Unless those bad guys in Mexico, Guatemala, Belize, El Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua, Costa Rica and Panama keep acting up and we have to drop MOABs on them. Count on it.

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