Chinese Menu 2: Nutrition Combined With Discount

Chinese Menu 2: Nutrition Combined With Discount post image

Back in April, when I was last in mainland China doing shows, I told you about the crazy English translations on Chinese menus. Well, I’m back in Beijing this week and caught more of these wonders of culinary miscommunication.

They have to be joking, right? Because otherwise, OMGWTF.



Usually when restaurants try to serve you rotten meat, they don’t snitch on themselves. Honesty is always the best policy!


If they’re all out of this, the Halibut Shipping & Handling is pretty good too.


In magical China, chickens give birth to baby lions, or lickens. And they are delicious. It’s where KFC got their slogan “Finger Licken Good.”


This dish of meat and beans has precisely zero characteristics of starch. But who am I to judge? I live in a country where Grape Nuts is a thing.


I didn’t order this because I like my sheep incomplete. You know, without the head, feet and naughty no-no parts.


You know you heard Ricky Ricardo saying this in your head. “Lucy! Slices of translucent gelatinous yucky stuff!”


I got me a car, it’s as big as a whale, and we’re heading on down to the milk shack. MILK SHACK BABY!


{ 4 comments… add one }
  • Oshoo November 3, 2014, 4:42 am

    I wouldn’t laugh at them as there are zillions of funny English all over Japan. Hang in there, Chinese!

    • Paul Ogata November 3, 2014, 4:56 am

      You *must* post some!

  • Lucy November 3, 2014, 4:52 am

    My favorite from my last trip to China: “3 pretty sardines sunbathing on a bed of rice”.

    • Paul Ogata November 3, 2014, 4:56 am

      That also be a Prince album.

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