Looking For A Photographer For My Entourage

Looking For A Photographer For My Entourage post image

In the TV series Entourage, Vincent Chase had his friends and family fill several slots in his posse: chef, trainer, bodyguard, manager, driver. My entourage usually consists of just one person, my wife. But based on the above photo, I’m firing her from the position of photographer in my Ogatourage. Yes, that’s a thing.

The picture above? Oh, just a once in a lifetime impromptu Everybody Loves Raymond reunion. It happened last week at Brad Garrett’s Comedy Club at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. As Brad was on stage, Ray Romano came out to surprise him. The pandemonium which ensued was a testament to the special nature of this faux-family reunion.

Afterwards, in the green room, I was able to get a pic with television’s beloved Barone brothers. My wife, iPhone at the ready, snapped a photo and I giggled like the dorky fan that I am. Unbeknownst to me, she applied an “enhance” filter in whatever janky camera app she was using to take the picture. The above photo isn’t even the original alteration. No, no, no. That was this:

Ray Romano, Paul Ogata (with third eye) and Brad Garrett

The “enhance” filter she used didn’t really do much to enhance the picture, except ADD A THIRD FREAKING EYEBALL TO MY FACE. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked at my photos and said, “You know, something is lacking in this wonderful picture of a surely-never-to-be-experienced-again event. If only there was a way to make me look like a mutant.”

To make matters worse, her wonderful mysterious camera app deleted the original. So my former entourage photographer told me she would try to fix it, and came up with the image at the top of the post with the stupid large 3-D glasses. Apparently, the app can erase my new third eyeball, but has to replace it with something more obviously ridiculous.

Anyway, it was an amazing night, not that I have any good pictures to remind me of it. And I’m now looking for a new member of my entourage. Qualifications: must not have any stupid camera apps on your phone. Apply within.


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