Embarrassment for China: sex toy mistaken for Toutatis asteroid

China’s Chang’e-2 probe took multiple images of what was thought to be the asteroid Toutatis during its Dec. 13 flyby.

China’s recent entry into an exclusive space club has been revoked after another embarrassing incident involving a case of mistaken identity. The country’s Chang’e 2 deep-space probe made an amazing flyby of what was believed to be the asteroid Toutatis last week, snapping a series of pictures as it passed by at a distance of just 2 miles.

The only problem? The scientists had actually photographed a lost sex toy depicting a grotesquely disembodied vagina and anus. Said one of the fooled scientists:

“On this side, you can see an impact crater which resembles pair of lips, and on that side, there is a tiny cave which extends all the way back to this side. Thermal scans show the object appears to be really fleshy and meaty too.”

“I’ve done my own research on the internet,” says the scientist. “It’s a type of space mushroom.” Without skipping a beat, the scientist says this type of mushroom is generally found deep in space and is hence rarely seen. “When the Emperor Dong Mi was on the hunt for the secret to happiness,” he elucidates, “it is said he discovered this space mushroom was the answer.”


In response to the ensuing internet mockery, China’s space agency offered up a damning apology. Said the agency in an online statement, “As our scientist was still very young and unwise to the ways of the world, this report has brought great inconvenience to everyone.”

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