Tom Sizemoron

Tom Sizemoron

Tom Sizemore is a Douche

I’m hooked on the new Hawaii Five-0. The season 2 premiere was fun to watch, especially the scene where Locke and Jin reunite. Then something happened on this week’s episode that made me reconsider watching it again. Also it made me remember that I was supposed to tell you about something I told you I’d tell you a while ago: the story of how I found out Tom Sizemore is a racist, bloated sack of crap wrapped in human skin.

Back in the day, I co-hosted a morning radio show in Honolulu, Hawaii. It was a wild ride of freebies, special treatment and hanging with celebrities. It was sort of like being a Kardashian, but without the annoying being-a-Kardashian part.

Then in May of 2001, Disney was having its world premiere of Pearl Harbor aboard the aircraft carrier USS John C. Stennis, right in Pearl Harbor. As part of the invited media, I got to hang out with the stars of the movie: Ben Affleck, Josh Hartnett, Cuba Gooding Jr., Kate Beckinsale. (BTW, I still have some of Kate’s DNA. But that’s a story for a later day.) All of them seemed like good people, with the exception of Tom Sizemore.

Sizemore was a gruff, disagreeable bastard. In commenting on the effects of World War II, he told me, “there’s still some people that won’t buy Jap cars after what you people did.” Seeing me raise an eyebrow, he added, “No offense.”

No offense? Oh, offense!

I might even have let that one go, except he decided to absolve himself of his racist comment by throwing in the “no offense” tag. You can be sure that when someone adds “no offense” at the end of a statement, they absolutely know what they just said was offensive. It’s just like the people who preface something you will be guaranteed to take the wrong way with, “don’t take this the wrong way, but…”.

As in, “Don’t take this the wrong way, Tom Sizemore, but you are a racist, bloated sack of crap wrapped in human skin.”

Actually, when I say that, it’s more of a critique and an objective evaluation. After all, Tom Sizemore is a proven, convicted, woman beater.

Hey CBS, didn’t you fire Charlie Sheen for similar shenanigans? If Grace Park doesn’t shoot Tom Sizemore’s character (or Tom Sizemore) in the face next week, I may have to stop watching you subsidize a woman-beating, meth-head racist. Offense.

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