Usually, I will do a show and just collect the check. Strictly quid pro quo. I get it, show business equals show plus business. Occasionally, however, someone throws a smiley face curve ball my way and makes my day.
I’m not even talking about the diva contract riders you hear about, demanding extras such as green M&M’s in a glass bowl, white rose petals in the toilet or ice-cold bottles of organic baby whale tears. That is extra stuff you demand, making it not really extra stuff. (I’ve even done this a couple of times just to see if I could get away with it. I’ve asked for and received a trackball mouse and even a 10-pound bag of uncooked brown rice. Call me J-Lo. Or P-Og, I suppose.)
No, I’m talking about the truly bonus items that you didn’t ask for or expect. Like cash tips. Those are always nice.
Earlier this week, I did a show at a hotel and in my room was a big gift basket. I’m talking big. Like child car seat size.
Here’s the inventory of the goodies:
1 Hershey’s Chocolate milk box
1 Juice box
4 Bottles of water
1 Banana
3 Oranges (They might be 2 oranges and a tangerine, but I’m no botanist.)
1 Apple
4 Slim Jims
2 Bags of chips
1 Bag of Pepperidge Farm Goldfish crackers
1 Large roll of cookies
2 Snickers bars
1 Chap Stick
1 Tub of Body Butter
1 Pack of Wet Wipes
1 Personal grooming kit with nail clippers, etc.
1 Sewing kit
1 Pack of Kleenex
1 Bottle of hand sanitizer
1 Note pad with pen
1 Lint roller
1 Travel coffee mug
1 Mini-basket of assorted tea, hawaiian punch and instant Starbucks
3 Lollipops
4 Different little bags of cookies
1 Pinwheel
1 Yo-yo
and a wind-up walking robot. (Pictured above)
I was going to take a picture of the big basket, but I couldn’t get far enough away from it to fit it all in. You should just try to find it on Google Earth. Shouldn’t be too hard.
I’m entirely grateful for this bountiful cornucopia of kick-ass snacks and swag. It’s like they robbed a convenience store and shoved it into wicker.
Nice surprise in an otherwise usually not-nice, unsurprising biz. Take note, potential clients. The bar has just been raised.
I do have big plans for the body butter and then the wet wipes.